He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
