We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
