and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
