But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
