Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
