If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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