How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
