is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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