I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
