Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
