these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
