does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
