Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
