I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
