sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
