jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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