I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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