I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
