so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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