i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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