Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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