Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
