Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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