and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
