you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
