you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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