I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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