Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
