Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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