just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
