the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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