Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
