I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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