you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize