i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
