and she was petting her beer can
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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