With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
