just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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