you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
