in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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