I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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