giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
