Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Are my feet made of real feet?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
