Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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