My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
