I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
