You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
