I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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