I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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