xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
