I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize