My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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