I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
