In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize