Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
