Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
