Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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