But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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