omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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