I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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