How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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