I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
