i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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