You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
