We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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