we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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