she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
