i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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