I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
