I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Use "feeling words"
Yay
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize