the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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