ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
