I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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