is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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