he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize