it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
