Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
