..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
