i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
