He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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