we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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