when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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