I am spending my child support on dildos
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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